I Dont Care

Is there anybody out there?

Id update but I dont feel like it. Anyway, I'm alive and I'll tell you all about my fascinating life later.

Okay, kinda gay, but I found it in my inbox and chuckled a bit....after all I do live downtown and with all the super-fun legal issues...

GAY CHAIN E-MAIL:

A man enters a bar in downtown Detroit and orders a martini. The bar has a Robot Bartender.

The Robot serves him a perfectly made martini and then asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man answers, "150" and the Robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics, spirituality, biochemistry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology and sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He decides to test the Robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around and comes right back in for a rum and coke.

Again, the Robot serves him a perfect rum & coke and asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responds, "About 100."

Immediately the Robot starts talking, but this time about the Lions, NASCAR, the Tigers, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns and women.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the Robot one more test. He returns and asks for a beer and the Robot brings him an Old Milwaukee Light and asks, "What's your IQ?'

The man says, "Er 50 I think."

And the Robot says...REAL SLOWLY..., "So............Ya gonna vote for Kwamee again?"

So I was watching TV with my neighbor and I really wanted a pop for some reason. My friend was gonna go get it, but then he got stuck at work, so I got off my lazy ass, came home, got dressed and walked to the store. Store was closed. I banged on the door til they let me in. Now, originally I wanted a red Crush, but sitting next to the red pop (in the dark store with the workers glaring at me)was a Tropical Punch Crush. I thought, what the hell, live a little.

Holy fuck, it is the greatest pop I have ever had. Seriously. Its heaven in a bottle.

Thought youd all like to know.



Oh and as a side note, the first time I typed "pop," I spelled it "poop." heh heh heh.

Posted on myspace by my 12-year-old cousin:

And If u dont no who Aerosmith is,
They r an AWSOME band that was around during the '80s & '90s.


Anyone else find that funny?

I have pictures on my myspace. Also, songs and movies written by other people that express my individuality.

Anyway.

So here's my life, pretty much. I bartend at Locos 30-50 hours a week, I work at zouk 1 or 2 days a week and I run the second-floor bar at Lolitas on the weekends, though I have to take a break from that since one of the Locos girls is in jail and I have to cover her shifts. Fun fun. This company owns my soul, I swear. At least they don't care when my rent is late.
I spend most of my time with my friend Ryan, who just moved in my loft. He was here so often anyway we figured we may as well split the rent. We're lame, we work all the time (he works at Locos too), we listen to Lou Reed and the Beatles and we play chess. And we go to bars here cos downtown is really a very small community and we all know each other. I see Clau once a week or so, hang out with my neighbors and thats pretty much it. Fantastic, no?
I broke up with Robin the day before my birthday, then I started dating a guy named Rob, who I think I broke up with. I liked him a lot, but he had way too much drama, so whatev.

So! My weekends are hell, I'm doing doubles at one two or three bars Fri Sat and Suns, but I usually have either Tues or Weds off, and Tues is TV/cooking night. So come over sometime, someone. Lemme know ahead of time, I'll cook more food. I end up bringing all the leftovers to Locos anyway. Amy, bitching about people not just hanging out at houses, well there you go.
Also, anyone whos ever been to Steve's Place should go there soon. Mr. Steve is sick and not doing well, I think the place will prolly close soon. Memories memories. We should all go on like a weekday night.

Oh! And I have no hot water. Yay!! Ive been calling around trying to figger out where to take a shower tomorrow (cos I open, great). I COULD go into Zouk and take one there, but I think theyd frown on me being there before they open. Bitches.

So yeah. I miss everyone and love you all, come play soon and update me on your lives cos Im out of the loop and then some.

Night!

What kind of a douche plays "alice's restaurant" on the jukebox in a crowded bar?

Oh, yeah, it was me. Anyway a middle-aged couple said thankyou.

Hi kids, I'm back online. Be excited.

Okay, I never post on this thing anymore...actually I'm never online anymore, but anyway...

Life is meh. Christmas was crappy, Grandpa died, breaking up with the old guy, "kinda dating" a new guy. Yeah. I'm still at Locos, which I like, though its much less money, and I tried to go to school this semester but everything went wrong and its not looking good. Whatev. I'm skipping out on a party tonight to stay home and sleep, and post to yall. Woo.

God, I so have nothing interesting to say. Saturday night we're going out for my birthday, you should all come. And my phone isn't working (I lost the charger), so myspace me or call my house phone if you wanna play. Love.

Alright so tonight was my first real night bartending at Loco's. It was pretty okay, but really stressful. The other bartender was hung over and not behind the bar the whole time, and I'm really really slow, partly cos I havent memorized the computers yet, and party cos I'm an airhead. It's a weird bar to work behind cos its mostly food so there's nothing to do, then you have to make 19 margaritas at the service bar while 6 people wait at the bar for their food orders and drinks, and youve got someone on the phone for carry-out, and you have a huge pile of dishes to wash. And I was doing (or trying to do) all of it, when Brett and Mimi came in, and Brett was fucking with me and Mimi said I looked mad at her or some shit. So I yelled at him, cos really, its not the fucking time, especially when everyone knew how nervous I was about dealing with a Saturday night before I really know everything.
But all in all it wasn't too bad, and once I get more comfortable I'll be fine. I like the people, and it helps that I knew a lot of them first. Its funny cos half the bar calls me Jacci and the other half calls me Mandy. Whatev, I answer to either.
Tomorrow I have to work at Zouk in the morning, then I bartend 5 nights, 3 of them by myself (scary). Nice to have a normal job though. Cept my back is fucking KILLING me. 10 hours is a loooong time to stand when youre not used to it.
Oh, and love coming home this tired and having to get up early, and listening to my neighbors wonderful music blasting. Hopefully she'll turn it off sometime before dawn tonight.
Bah.

Oh my goodness, my neighbor my neighbor my neighbor. This is the loudest person I have ever met in my life. Her music is so loud I cant even hear my own television. I was up ALL night last night, and I had to work at both jobs today. She just got home and turned up the bass. Its nearing 3 am. I finally went over there and asked her nicely to please turn it down. She said, you know how many times youve woekn me up? Then I hear her shrill voice through the walls saying, that bitch just told me to turn my music down. she wakes me up! Uh, yeah, that's cos I generally sleep at night like a normal person. I make my noise before 11. She stops at 9 am. For shit's sake, there's a fucking staircase in between us! I can still hear her voice. No one else's. Just her loud coked-up ass. And are you fucking serious? She just started nailing shit to the wall. What?!? Kill me.

I've avoided saying anything to her thus far, cos I dont wanna start a war and cos I know I'm loud myself. but not nearly as often or as late and tongiht I just couldnt take it. Ugh!

Tomorrow is my next-door-neighbor's "cheap chicken and wine art show and sale with a party flair." You should all come (sorry, Amy, you don't get an option: youre coming). Its 3 bucks, from 8 til 2 am. Cheaper than City, plus you can pee in my bathroom. His shit is really, really good, and all different. He does sketches, paintings and sculptures, and prolly a lot of other stuff I'm not even aware of. Anyway, call or just show up. Kaythanks.

I chipped my crown on a pistachio yesterday. Then I swallowed it. Ew. Apparently the Universe feels I haven't spent enough money on this tooth yet. I disagree.

And cos I said I would:
Leave a comment here and I will:
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ (even though everyone already has).

I am spending Christmas Day alone on an airplane, then alone in the cheapest motel that Orlando has to offer. I then get to spend the 26th alone in said motel. THEN I get to go to a wedding. Alone. Then two days of Disney fun (this time I won't be alone - I'm sure my babysitting services will be needed), then back to Detroit at 6am the next morning. Also I will be eternally broke afterwards.
Doesn't that sound like fun??

In happier news, this weekend will be fun-filled. I'm going to see the Dinosaur thingy at Cobo tomorrow, then Saturday we're taking Clau's kids and my cousins to a movie, then prolly dinner with my friend and her kids, then a housewarming party for my neighbors. Sunday I'm going to the Lions game. Woo.

Bah. Ive been having way too much fun lately. Going out most nights, hitting up a bunch of strip clubs, hanging out with random neighbors, smashing Amy's car (heh).
Anyway, life is totally amusing right now. I'm kinda cranky today, I woke up and got in a fight with the guy I'm dating. And it sucks to fight with him, cos everything he says is all fair and logical and makes sense. And yall know I'm nowhere near logical and I make no sense whatsoever. Meh. So we went to breakfast and then I went to the club and now I'm home listening to Erasure, cos, you know, erasure is sweet and I've had "a little respect" stuck in my head for days.

Yeah. So I got a job. Bartending. And I get to wear clothes. Isnt that freaking fantastic? Yeah. I'm so cool.

Wow, other than that I really have nothing interesting to say. I'm lame (also cool).

Suzyhomewreker and and chitlins_1, who are you? Do I know you?

Oh my God its the happiest day on earth. I didnt get to go to any haunted houses this year, but I got my pumpkins on monday and i hung some skeletens on the fire escape. I would have hung up more but my brother used up all the tape waxing his legs. Oh well. I went to one party on Friday at a friend's, then yesterday we went to a bunch of strip clubs. Today I saw Saw 4, which was alright. Theres a few people walking around in costumes. Now I'm waiting for Clau to come get me to go to my mom's. I gotta smear fake blood all over my face. Yay! Anyway anyone doing anything fun later tonight? Like midnightish? Call me.

Alright, I crammed a lot of crap into this weekend. Stayed up late on Friday with Brucie and his friends, and just barely made it to work anything close to ontime. It was Sweetest Day, so the owner decided to buy shots for me, the other girl working, the bartender and the DJ. Lots of them. We were all trashed before one. Didn't make a ton of money but we had so much fucking fun. Some days I actually like my job. Or rather, I hate my job, I just love the people I work with. After work Clau picked me up, we went to the store, then went back to her house and made signs out of bedsheets for mommy's marathon, and baked cakes with the girls. Then me and the girls had a slumber party, and we were all up by 6 the next morning. We came back downtown, played around the loft til my daddy got here then made our way to the marathon with our freaking fabulous "go mom go" signs. We couldn't find mommy and ended up walking about 4 miles til we caught up with her. The girls bought her flowers, and we came back here for tacos and cake, and to soak poor mommys feet (she walked the half-marathon and did really well...Clau's 9-year-old says shes gonna start training with me so I can do it next year...we'll see about that).
Schnooks came over about 11, I gave him his birthday present (a nintendo Wii -- a am such a sweet sister) and another cake. Then I gave the girls sparklers and let them run around the loft screaming for a while, and they taught me the Soldier Boy dance (I so do not have children for a reason).
After they left, me and Schnooks went down to the club with the cake and hung out and drank with my manager. Then we got Lions tickets and went to the game. It was an awesome game and we had sweet fucking seats. Like 20 rows back on the 40 yard line (did I mention what a sweet sister I am?). Then we ate and I passed out. When I woke up I had a migraine and I was dead on my feet all day. And an hour late for work. Bah.
So yeah. Exhausting but totally fun. I need it to be next weekend so I can sleep for two days straight. Either that or go up north and party. We'll see how it goes.
Oh, and I totally need to do Halloweeny stuff. Like now. I need haunted houses, pumpkins, and I wanna decorate the fire escape. Any takers?

When oh when will I learn to keep my motherfucking mouth shut? Ugh!

Holy shit, Jacci's online.

And I feel like HELL. WHY oh why can't I sleep? I did sleep in Ann Arbor, but only cos I took sleeping pills. I thought maybe if I took them for a couple nights my body would get used to sleep again, but nope. My body hates me. Maybe its cos I don't feed it. But eating is such a fucking challenge when you have no appetite. I think I'll try force feeding myself today...I am a fucking Zombie.
And its super-fun dentist day. AGAIN.
Woo.

I am now on day five of no sleep and very little food. I've tried eating before going to bed, Ive tried drinking, I've tried not drinking, I've tried showers, counting backwards, counting forwards, xanax, vicodin, herbal crap, tea...I can not sleep. I'm shaking and I have no appetite and I'm seeing shit in the morning and basically losing my damn mind.
And not only am I on my feet all day, I'm on my feet all day in seven inch heels. I almost fell off the stage on Wednesday, and yesterday I almost fell out of my barstool. I'm forgetting wordds with more than one sylabel. I forget how to spell syllable. And the DJ thinks its funny to turn on the strobe lights and freak me out. I am going to die. Or at least break my ankle.
I'm gonna be in Ann Arbor all weekend. If no one hears from me by monday, it means I died. Each of you will be responsible for a chunk of my ashes. Use them wisely.